So I have decided to talk more on this subject in old fashioned written word format!
I will be back with another video next week when hopefully things have gotten a little brighter.
I haven't always been a negative person, it somehow happened one day and I have recently realised the extent of my moaning, negative energy, and generally being quite down on myself and sometimes others which I really didn't like.
Every time I had conversations with friends I started to feel like I was in a constant moan state, that I started to get irritated by myself, never mind what they must have thought!
So I wondered if I stopped the complaining, and focused only on putting out the positive things in my life, and forgo the whinging would I start to actually feel better, and those rants I thought may have been releasing the negative energy had only expanded and extended it onto others that I cared about.
For a while it was quite easy to say the positives and it did make me feel better after a while as focusing on the negatives did nothing to fix them but succeeded in making me feel worse, but then work got a little bit too stressful, and a lot of problems were suddenly dropped into my lap to fix which really stressed me out.
I had a long rant to my best friend Ellie over chinese food, and we settled into moan mode which made me realise just how much I had been pent up and it flowed out of me like a sea of anger, but the more I complained the angrier and more frustrated I became. I took that negative vibe back to my parents house and my mum admitted to me a few days later that she went to bed early just to get away from my complaining.
At the time it felt that getting it off my chest would make me feel better, but I recently read and am now thinking is true, complaining about a subject for a certain amount of time actually raises the stress levels you are feeling on the matter, so you need to either cap your complaint before it gets to the stage that it reignites your anger, or just not complain at all.
No one is perfect, and we are a nation of whiners and tutters, it's practically hard wired into our system but is it something you can choose to change?
Before the stress levels hit an all time high, I did actually start to feel more happier and positive by only putting positives out there, and avoiding complaints about the little things but since I complained again I'm not feeling so great, of course this hasn't been helped by the things that have been causing my stress lately but I'm fighting to get it back onto a positive path again.
So I'm going to share with you my steps to putting out the positives, and for making a happier Harrie!
- Odd but true, the first step I took was to unfollow those people on Facebook who make looking at my newsfeed seem a chore. I'm talking about people who are constantly complaining or posting passive aggressive statements, people who share videos and articles that make me feel upset (usually about animal abuse, with photo's or videos that will haunt you for weeks) or feel angry, and people who only post gloating in your face statements. I know it sounds strange, but it helped pretty much instantly, and now my feed is full of lovely, happy, interesting things!
- Compliment your friends, ask about their day, and don't immediately rant! It's easy to go down that route, and get very me me me when seeing friends, we've all done it at some point but I think if you're putting out positive feelings then you will get that back, and you'll probably be a lot nicer to be around! That's what I hope anyway, come back friends, I promise not to whinge!
- The cliches, yes drink more water, and get more sleep. I've always been terrible at not drinking enough water, I can go a whole day on one or two cups of tea and nothing else. I'm forcing myself to drink as close as I can to the recommended daily amount, I'm not quite at two litres a day but I'm getting there, and I do feel more awake and healthier for it, I'm hoping more benefits will reveal themselves too! I love to sleep, but I don't have a very good sleep pattern due to crazy work hours, I get cranky if I haven't had enough so I'm trying to make sure I have enough, and enjoy a lie in every now and then too!
- Cook more, I make pancakes nearly every morning with fresh fruit, and it's great to actually start the day properly. We used to snack and drink tea till dinner time, but making the effort first thing leads to more energy throughout the day. It's also nice to have some time waking up together before we start work.
- Don't let things get to you, and I am so guilty of this myself. I can question things for weeks but you know what? I'll never get any resolution or answer to those things so I'm trying to move past them stronger and only question them for maybe a day or so!
- Surround yourself with the things and people that make you happy. Simple really, isn't it?!
Do you think it is possible to change, or is it a personality trait? I'm going to continue on and I hope that it'll make me feel better no matter what life throws at me, and I think you get back whatever you put out, so I shall be sending out positive rays all I can.
I can't stop bad things from happening, but I can change how I deal with those situations.